NME "The Rest of New Order" Review

THE NOT VERY GOOD MIXER

NEW ORDER
The Rest of New Order
(London/All formats)

AH, THE "art" of the remix. Ostensibly, it's all about "Reinvention! Rejuvenation!" but all too often, as with those "New! Improved!" washing-powders, it's really just marketing shorthand for "Not Good Enough In The First Place!"

At least, that's the case with habitual indie remix victims from The Soup Dragons to Ned's Atomic Dustbin, for whom the term polishing a turd was doubtless coined. But now it's New Order under the cosh. Which makes this album the equivalent of buffing up... what? Platinum? Diamonds? MR SHEEN'S EXTRA-SHINY SlLVERWARE?

Of course, what it's really all about is polishing off what little patience New Order fans have left. Since the collapse of Factory, their legacy has been handled with all the sensitivity of The Stone Roses' Silvertone material. The difference is, you only have to wait five years for a new Roses album.

Hence, well over two years on from 'Republic', there’s still no indication that Barney, Hooky and The Other Two are likely to enter a studio together ever again. And, with another 'Greatest Hits' type compilation almost certainly illegal under European Community ”Dead Horses: Flogging Thereof" legislation, ’The Rest Of New Order? (clever title, cheers) will have to do until the cash cow comes home.

Of, course, in a perfect world, no-one would feel the need, let alone have the nerve, to mess with the pristine perfection of Barney and co's back catalogue. But, as the existence of this record proves, it's not a perfect world. It's a Perfecto world.

And, indeed, a Perfecto mix of 'World' commences proceedings and offers vague hope for the "project" in that it essentially leaves the mastery of the original intact, merely stretching things out for maximum dancefloor bliss-out. Though, frankly, one wishes even such measures were unnecessary. See, unlike yer typical indie saddoes desperate for some club action, New Order have always implicitly, understood the politics of dancing. And, sadly, most of the remixers here only understand it explicitly: adding chattering beats and spooky-ooky noises a-go-go with nary a thought for glacial perfection. The end result is rather like sticking fairy lights on the Venus de Milo.

True the Fire Island piano houseification of 'Regret' is bloody marvellous while 'True Faith' and 'Touched By The Hand of God' also survive unscathed maybe even slightly enhanced. But with yet another superfluous "pumping" overhaul of 'Blue Monday' (hang your heads Hardfloor), more than ten minutes of wholly unnecessary disco noodling on 'Confusion' (see me Pump Panel Reconstruction) and what amounts to little short of a desecration of 'Everything's Gone Green' (burn in purgatory, Dave Clarke - wot no "happening" nom de remix?) a foxtrot is most definitely out of the question.

Things reach their nadir, however, when Armand Van Helden's supremely irritating stuck-record crack at the previously flawless 'Bizarre Love Triangle' prompts a question more New Seekers than New Order. What have they done to my song ma?

They've ruined it. In a day (4)

Mark Sutherland