1985 04 27 New Order Record Mirror

DO THESE PEOPLE LOOK SERIOUS?

WARNING: this New Order feature contains no soul-baring semantics or deep 'n' doomy description. It does, however, have rather a lot of jokes and some handy information about fishing and spanking. 'They have hours of fun.' says Eleanor Levy. Photography: Joe Shutter

IT SEEMS years my petals, positively years. A darkened dance floor, a soft, vaguely droning voice bemoaning how badly a man can be treated. A sharp Arthur Baker production. 'Blue Monday' ringing out. Ah, those fair days when New Order finally became household names to Top Of The Pops’ viewers everywhere.

1983 — and 'Power Corruption And Lies' is released. The last New Order album — consolidating the strong following that's accompanied the band since the emergence of Joy Division.

The images of acne-ridden youths in long macs that accompanied them then have never really been shaken off, despite the fact that New Order, if classified at all, are far more a dance band than a bunch of characters to sit in a garret and squeeze your boils to, pleasant pastime as that may be.

Next month sees the first album from the group for two years. 'Low-Life' is accompanied by the single 'The Perfect Kiss', scheduled for release on May 13. New New Order records are generally greeted with a host of soul-revealing, deeply emotional proclamations (and lots of very long words) from those journalists who like them. Fun reading! And from meeting the four members of the band, you get the impression they have hours of fun giggling into their Bovril about them too. New Order are anything but deep or arty.

MANAGER ROB Gretton — a man who says almost as much as the rest of the group put together and swears he was once a Black And White Minstrel — describes the four characters thus:

Gillian Gilbert — likes photography, keep-fit, swimming and clothes. LOVES Prince. Stephen Morris — likes video, computers and smoking various substances. Heavily into haircuts. Bernie (aka Barney) Sumner — hobbies include ski-ing, cycling and "male model". Likes to fish.

"Can I just say, I disagree completely with the anti-fishing league," he says.

"He eats them raw," says bassist Peter Hook.

“He bashes them," adds Gillian.

Peter is, according to Gretton, the group's 'piece de resistance". His favourite pastimes are (quote) "motorbiking, running, weightlifting, women — no, that's swimming — cars and dyeing his hair."

"Mike our engineer is into being spanked and Hookey's into doing the spanking," adds Bernie. He also, no doubt, likes meeting people, raising money for charity and wants to be a social worker. Peter is the mouthy one of the group with a quick answer for everything. Bernie is so laid back he should have matchsticks propping up his eyelids. He once sent a joke up to the Beano and got a lift off Norman Wisdom.

IT'S SEVEN years since Joy Division first came to prominence. Including 'Low-Life', New Order/Joy Division have produced six albums. How have they changed during this time?

Peter: "People's attitudes change all the time as they get older anyway, whatever aspect of life you're dealing with. I don’t think it's particularly related to the fact you've spent a long time in music. Our attitude's definitely harder now than in the beginning because when we started we really didn't know what we were doing. Now, we've got more of an insight into things — you know how far you can or cannot go. It's like waking up really.

"We're a group who tend not to make very definite decisions or statements about anything. Things are going to happen anyway so it really doesn't matter. If you talk about something too much or think about it all the time, you tend to get bogged down."

On 'Low-Life', the group haven't repeated their collaboration with Arthur Baker, choosing to produce the album themselves. The sound still retains a rich mix of noises and, on the track that was playing just prior to the interview, continues the trend of uptempo, contagious-after-just-one-listen tunes.

NEW ORDER have always had a reputation for being 'distant'. This seems though, more to do with the individuals concerned not being particularly keen on talking to people they've never met before rather than 'superstar’ Northern snottiness.

Bernie: "Say loads of people want autographs. Now, I really think autographs are daft. What do they want them for? What's the point? But you can't say that because people think you're just being snotty."

Pete: "I think of a lot of the people, when they meet you, just want to talk to you, but they say 'can I have your autograph please?' just because a lot of them are too nervous to say anything else. I do find it very difficult to fathom as well though. If I went to see a band — which I used to do a lot — I’d never dream of going backstage to see them because I'd know they'd be a complete bunch of jerks — like usl"

Gillian: 'When you meet them, they're not what you think they are. You always get the wrong impression."

Stephen: "You got really upset when you mot Sooty didn't you?" 

Peter: "Other bands have a certain idea of how you act as well. We played in Greece with the Birthday Party. We thought they were wild and they thought we were dead ... but worse. We got there and we were wild and they were bookworms. Pissed bookworms, mind. So, although it's easy to complain about them, it's not only interviewers who have pre-set ideas about you. We all do."

New Order's relationship with the press has never been particularly harmonious.

They seem to regard journalists as having the combined brain power of a newt. They tell tales of a 'fan' who half way through a conversation at a bar with Bernie produced a tape recorder out of his pocket and said "mind if I use this?". And another who nipped out to the loo, little realising that he'd wrapped the lead of his cassette recordor round his leg and was dragging it behind him on the floor, onwards to the latrine.

MORE SERIOUSLY, their wariness stems mainly from the time of Ian Curtis's death. One thing to lose a friend, another to have it made public — even worse to have people who should know better laughing about it in print..

Rob Gretton: "There were lots of things written about Ian that were highly offensive to him and his wife. Some joke like 'Hear the one about the basket hanging in the kitchen?'. Something like that. I thought 'If his wife reads that'."

Peter: "Or his daughter. Basically, they are pretty horrible. For all we know, you might turn out to be like that. We might be looking for you next week."

Rob: "And they're very fit. Very, very fit."

New Order are also very wacky, leave dirty books around the recording studio for journalists to find and tell jokes ... Bad jokes.

Rob: "Tell a joke that'll look good in print, Barney. Tell her the one you sent to the Beano."

Bernie: "It's not funny when you grow up."

Gillian: "It's one of his good ones. About the fish."

Bernie: "The fish? No, it was a chip wasn't it?"

Peter: "Nearly."

Bernie: "Do you know there was a fight in the chip shop last night? A chip got stabbed." (Long pause).

Peter: "No. no — that’s not it."

Gillian: "It is."

Bernie: "It is."

Peter: "It should have been a situationist joke. A fish got battered." 

Stephen: “Oh, that's it. A chip got stabbed."

Rob: "No. a fish got battered and a chip got stabbed."

Bernie: "No, it was just a chip got stabbed."

Gillian: "That's a good one that is," (giggling).

Peter: "Or would have been."